Gracie's Eye Surgery

Grace had eye surgery today.

More than a year ago, Erin noticed that when Grace moved her head in a certain way, her left eye wouldn't track evenly with her right. On a routine visit to the doctor, Erin asked if there was something wrong. The doctor referred Grace to a specialist, and the specialist confirmed that one of the muscles in Gracie's left eye was weak. Erin was told that this was fairly common, and that it was easily treatable. She was also told that there was a chance it may affect her ability to learn to read, or there was a chance it was totally benign and would have no effect at all.

In early December (2005) co-incidental with Hannah's arrival -- Gracie began to have a hard time going to school -- especially riding on the bus. She stayed home from school on several occasions because she was too upset about going to school. Whenever I would probe her about her troubles at school, her only worry was that she couldn't read very well, and that she was unable to complete her "homework".

Just before the Christmas break, I paid a visit to Mrs. Jantzen and discussed Gracie's situation with her. Mrs. Jantzen insisted that Gracie was progressing normally, and that her difficulties at school were limited to the coming/going on the bus. I became quite certain that the weak muscle in her eye was not causing her trouble at school -- despite a nagging feeling that it was somehow detracting from her overall wellbeing.

A few days after meeting with Mrs. Jantzen, I was at the Health Resource Centre. I had been visiting with the guys, and after Bernie inquired about the kids (as he always does) I mentioned that Gracie was having a difficult time at school. For some reason I also mentioned the condition of her eye -- and right away Bernie asked a few questions: "does she fall down allot? does she have mood swings? does she have a difficult time concentrating/focusing on one task?" I answered affirmatively in all cases. Bernie explained that about the same age, his son Paul was diagnosed with the same condition. Paul underwent the corrective surgery, and his balance, mood and focus were improved dramatically -- like turning on a light switch. He strongly encouraged me to take Gracie in for the corrective surgery.

Having this discussion with Bernie made me feel so certain that Erin and I ought to do everything we can to help Grace feel comfortable at school. After leaving HRC, I called Erin from the car and told her how strongly I felt that we should be doing everything possible to manage Gracie's situation at school, and that in part, this would mean getting Gracie in to see the eye specialist again.

Erin called to get the appointment with the optometrist, and not two weeks ago Gracie went to the Alberta Children's Hospital for an assessment. The optometrist confirmed (again) that she had a weak muscle in her left eye. At the end of the appointment, the optometrist noticed Dr. Astel (the eye surgeon) in the hallway, and asked if he could see Gracie at some point. Dr. Astel said that he had a free moment right then, and with that Gracie was in with the surgeon. He also confirmed her diagnosis and asked if we would like to schedule the corrective surgery. Erin said that she would like to discuss it and get back to him. When Erin told me about the outcome of the appointment, I told her that I felt we should do it. Shortly after Erin called back to advise Dr. Astel's office that we would like to schedule Gracie for the surgery -- the booking clerk responded that Dr. Astel had just had a cancellation, and that Gracie could be booked for the following Thursday (less than a week away). Erin accepted.

Yesterday morning I told Gracie that we were going to see the doctor again, and that he was going to look at her eye again. I told her that she would have to be asleep this time when he looked at her eye, and that I was going to come with her. She started to cry. I think she had a sense that this was something more than the fairly harmless visits she had in the past.

I took the day off work today -- mom and Cathy took Matt, and Gracie, Hannah, Erin and I drove to the Children's Hospital. Gracie cried on and off all morning; Erin was very reassuring.

We arrived at the hospital at 11:45 AM and by 12:30 we were in getting changed into her hospital gowns (Grace didn't want to put the gowns on -- she was starting to get quite nervous at this point). We were told that Dr. Astel was about 30 minutes ahead of schedule -- a pleasant surprise. After getting into her gowns and having her oxygen levels testes with a special clip that fit on her index finger (she didn't want to do that either) we went back to sit in the waiting room and Gracie watched part of a movie on a personal DVD player.

After only ten minutes or so, the nurse called for Gracie, and we all walked down the hall toward the operating room. Erin said good-bye and I put on a cap and gown so that I could go right into the operating room with Gracie.

The operating room was very bright, and had Mickey Mouse decals at Gracie's eye level. She was quite brave as she walked down the last stretch of hallway into the operating room and even while she got up onto the operating table. The calm ended when the anethetist asked he to lay down and put on the oxygen mask. Gracie started to cry and refused the mask. I held her as close to my chest as the anethetist could let me, and I tried to reassure her by telling her that I was there and would be helping. She still resisted the mask, until finally I put my hand on Gracie's head to steady her while the anethetist place the mask over her face. Gracie was very upset.

It only took about 20 seconds before the anesthetic began to work, and Gracie became limp in my arms. That was a very strange feeling. We laid her down on the table and I kissed her on the cheek and told her that I loved her and then left the operating room. That was really tough.

I don't really remember walking back down the hallway away from the OR toward Erin, but she was surprised at how quickly I had returned. I told her about the operating room, and then had a brief teary moment. We left the waiting room and sat in the chairs in the hallway just outside the waiting room doors. It seemed like more, but about 45 minutes later they told us that Gracie would be coming out of the recovery room and we could see her in the post-recovery area.

They wheeled her out in a hospital bed and she was very disoriented and sobbing heavily. She was in a lot of pain, and very uncomfortable. Her eye was quite swollen and oozed puss for about 20 minutes. She cried for about 45 minutes. I think the worst part of the experience was the uncomfort of the IV that was in her left hand. She wanted that out immediately. We were told that she could have the IV out if she could drink and retain fluid. The nurse brought some apple juice, but we couldn't convince her to drink it (which I thought was kind of strange because by this time she had been fasting for about 18 hrs.).

Nurse Fran saved the day. She came in, looked a Gracie and said, "Grace, there are some things we have to do. Dr. Astel said you have to drink this apple juice before your IV comes out." Nurse Fran picked up the apple juice and gave it Gracie, and she drank. I was kind of shocked. With that, nurse Fran removed the IV and things got better from that moment. Nurse Fran told Grace to continue to drink the apple juice. Erin and I tried to get her to drink -- but she wouldn't, she would only drink if nurse Fran would instruct her to. So, I went to get nurse Fran.

By 3:15 PM the operation was done, Gracie had calmed down and we were discharged from the Hospital. From the hospital we went directly to MacDonalds, then to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone. We came home -- and relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.

I marvel that this morning we drove to the hospital, and this afternoon we left and Gracie (given her situation) is ok.

Yesterday Erin asked me if we were doing the right thing by proceeding with the surgery. Without thinking about it I rehearsed my "coincidental" conversation with Bernie, the "coincidental" meeting with Dr. Astel last week, and the "coincidental" cancellation that would see Gracie get a surgery scheduled in just over a week, and couldn't help feeling that it wasn't all that coincidental.

Tonight before bed we all kneeled down to pray, like we do every night and I gave a prayer of thanksgiving for skilled doctors and modern technology, and most of all the Lord’s watchful hand over our family. I prayed that Gracie would recover peacefully and quickly. Gracie knows that her prayers are heard – and from time to time in moments like these she’ll prompt me to ask for a blessing for her. While I was praying, Gracie leaned over and whispered in my ear "bless my eye". I stopped, and asked for a blessing on Gracie’s eye – and I’m sure of everything I said in my prayer tonight, that was the most sincere.